domingo, 27 de agosto de 2023

Over and over again

 It was last Tuesday 5.43am when I decided to part and depart into another approach. I had enough of Dave.

 And it was yesterday, 4 days later, when I decided to throw away the ring I idiotically worn as if I was his fiance, in order to avoid guys coming. Just in case. Nothing that he ever noticed or ever did any mention to it. The amount of rich details this guy missed from me is astonishing and without further due, I shall say, it is over for good.

    Not sure why I have accepted again the idea of being with someone. I had real master classes that men are not to be trusted. And as my intent has nothing to do with procreation, well, what are men for to me? I shall accept my destiny as an assexual being. Nothing wrong nor bad about that. In order to avoid suffering we shall just face reality. I don’t wanna ever be involved with anybody else.


domingo, 13 de agosto de 2023

Stepping on the ground from time to time


 You were so unique to me. 

 Since I got myself trying to unveil all the mysterious reasons that tie me to you, meaning: trying to understand you as a whole being, I have got to the conclusion that you are just a typical guy from your typical zone. Behavior is basically the same. It is amusing how a set of people can share not just the same habits but also the same body language, behavior, way of thinking.

After so much travelling I find myself carrying a peculiar collection of values I gathered on the way. Alike jewelry, some need more polishing, some are useless at the current moment and some I am using. And you, you are the proof that we are the sum of the experiences we live where we live altogether with the genes we carry.  It's not that you are not unique, but not that special outstanding character I loved to think of you.

So far, this amazing rationale makes me get rid of the image I had of you, freeing me up from another castle I put myself in (will I ever grow tired of it?), from loving you, which is not you anymore. The you I love so much is not in you but in my dreams only, therefore I can let you that is not the you I want, go. What is left is just a cherischable friendship, for my friendly heart accepts anyone as they come, with no criteria. But my lover heart is a pain in the ass criterious, thanks to my oniric perspective I convinve my heart I fell for a hero, and it let me pass even though it constantly consults my brain if that is safe to invest. My heart knows it will be completely thrown to the beloved creature in the moment I fall in love. So, in despair it constantly asks my brain "is this really safe?", "not another pain, please". My brain always replies "given the amount of experience we both have, her instincts might be right now". Both always fail. Because I'm a dreamer, it's no one else's fault but mine.

sábado, 5 de agosto de 2023

Like the waves of the ocean

Are we suppposed to be together if we always break up?

Are we supposed to be apart if we always get back together?

Or are we supposed to come and go, like the waves of the ocean?