Peace hunter

Can't miss a suffering time of my life. Nowadays I feel free and the decision I made to stay alone is the proof I had no intention with anyone. That all his craziness was gone of my life, thinking about me betraying him all the time. Same is to him, nowadays he must be feeling free from his disease. At least I won't be the cause of his suffering. The pain for being apart at my view is not bigger than the pain of being together. Being together would be a constant pain increasing with no way of controlling but being apart is only one pain, maybe all together but with no chance to grow or get worst. And a the time passes by it decreases a bit more an so one day I will be ready for someone. Don't care if I will be 35 or 40yo, what matters is being ready for growing again. Time will heal my wounds as it did so many times. The hurt seems always the biggest one but as the others are gone so will be this one. I search for peace, if it costs killing my selfish need so I will cut them. Peace is my path to the good quality thinking.