It is not a new year, it is the same great time of your life passing!

I know it is not yet the new year, but why should we start all good things we wanna do in the new year? New things are up only for new years? What about this old one, this great and good amount of years, days, minutes of my life? I own them all my regard and that's why there is no time to wait for giving thanks for all the days left in any day we pick up. I thank you, the time of my life, for still being alive and like a "live wire", acdc would say. ;) However, the way I have to thank about the time was given me is to reflect about it, to review it and find out the good lessons I took in every detail I can. Today and yesterday were a very though days, very hard ones. Even it is so usual the end of my unending relationship, every threat hurts too much. And wow.. there is still feelings to be hurt. A lot of, by the way. The situation is getting hard because we see no escape. We are always living between heaven and hell. Weird way of maintaining a relation. I think the big trouble is in me. I am a very stubborn, pain in the ass woman. Despite of how sweet I can become, the opposite is reached easily. It is just necessary to contradict me. Who do I think I am to think I have the right of feeling I am right all the time? To think my justice is beyond all. I am so sorry for having learn that to give up an argument is to be in a bad position. How could it be worst now? I have been acting blindly sometimes to impose my ideas and if only a comma was changed the ruins are about to come, the rage an fury is about to destroy your balance, because I wont let it come for granted. Oh God it is so nice to say I am sorry.. And nicer is the one who receive it with arms wide opened. How could a 30 yo woman change its heavy personality deep down in the kernel. Of course I am not fighting alone, and there are mistakes caused by him too.. But the ones I can change are under my own, this I can impose to improve, not the other. I require and appreciate so much the respect in humanity and I have not respected the human being. I am, however, glad cause there is no work for tomorrow nor all the next week. I got to get extra hours in the begging of the month to take this week. With no mention about vpn work. Gotta sleep...